Grounding myself in reality

I felt the need to sit down and write. A few minutes ago I took a moment to step outside and stretch after several hours immersed in lectures. I stepped outside the familiar building and lecture hall, and the sensation was overwhelming, I felt human again. I was immersed an empowering breeze and the warmth of the sun. For days and weeks on end, I study, eat, sleep and repeat. When I stopped outside my senses opened, and took in sights, scents, and the feel of my surroundings. I was grounded again.

My lectures cover everything from anatomy,  pharmacy, physiological concepts on the micro scale, to interacting with patients.  It's a lot. I knew coming here that I would be tested in a manner that I have never been before: and I was right. Med school makes undergrad look like preschool. You are your own motivation. The responsibility is all your own. You have to want to learn it. The best part of this process is that I do genuinely wish to learn this material. It is all relevant. My issues lie with the amount of information, and the lack of time to cover it all. This week alone, I have spent countless hours after lunch studying and before I know it, it's time for bed. The days are flying by in an absurd manner. Hours are gone and lost forever.

My next exam is on Tuesday of next week, with the largest exam on Wednesday. To me, this is the true test of whether I am doing this correctly. I have the strongest desire to well and succeed.





On another note,

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to sit down and think (when I actually had time) and I reminisced about all of the factors that influenced me to get to where I am right now. Much influence came from family and many others came from experiences.  I was fortunate enough to have shadowed several physicians during and after undergraduate school. One of the most influential doctors on my views of medicine, patient interaction, and knowledge was Dr. Dobbins. His impact on me is everlasting. On a terribly saddening note, I was informed that he has passed away this week. He was the first doctor  I ever shadowed. He set an unreachable bar for the standard of physician/patient interaction and care. He was a genuine person and cared about how you felt, and wanted patients to become well. I was blessed to have had him as a mentor. Although this news is saddening, there is a lot that I take from this. There are many people in our life who have made lasting impacts on us as people. Many have steered us in the right direction, or taught us something that we will carry with us for eternity. Please make sure that you make an effort to acknowledge those people and more importantly thank those people for their contributions. I send my deepest sympathy to his family and friends, for he will be greatly missed.  And to Doctor Dobbins, thank you for all you have done for me.


Medical school is difficult for many reasons. The most important piece of advice that I can give to anyone is to take time for yourself. Step away from the computer, go outside, and appreciate the redeeming qualities of nature.


Thanks for reading,


Nick